Now, the title may confuse you because it makes it sound like I’m trying to term myself something aside from being a Black guy or not too fond of family members dating black men. Calmate manito y manitas. I will get into that whole discussion in the next chronicles where I will explore ‘what I consider myself being Dominican and dark-skin’ at the same time. Latino? Black? Both? Tune in next time.

In the meantime, let me explain my family a bit before I get into the subject.

First, a good portion of the folks on my mother’s side could be termed as being Dominicans of European descent. I stress ‘some.’ Most of the folks on my father’s side, can be termed as the African ancestry side. Both are Dominican through and through. I obviously didn’t come out looking like Drake with two parents of different colors. My dad must’ve had some strong genes because my silky, smooth moreno behind came out first. Then, my mom’s genes must’ve took over because Yadira came out more like her as you can both see in the Mother’s Day pictures below.

Onto the topic though… just in case you didn’t know, Dominicans at times, tend to be a bit racista. No different than any other group in the world though, but I’m just speaking from being Dominican and living it for 25 years (getting old).

Let’s flashback a few years: I remember this young lady back in the High School years. This sibling couldn’t stand black girls or guys. She said every bad term in the book about ‘them.’ Never the ‘N’ word or anything like that. The school she attended was half Black and Latino and I’d say 100 percent of her friends were from the neighborhood. If you ever went to school, you know its rare that you find folks of the same race/culture hanging out with people they term “different.” It just doesn’t happen.

Now one thing about Dominicans is that we are fairly sheltered. We don’t really venture too far. Sheeeeeeeit (Clay Davis) it wasn’t until I was like 15 that I knew what Harlem was and how close it was to me. True story! That tells you how insular we are. We parade the same restaurants, attend local functions and lots of family outings. Me and my fellow sibling were the same. For God sakes, some Dominicans haven’t even sniffed 34th street or learned English being here for 30 years. I know some people like that.

I’m pretty sure growing up this sibling didn’t encounter a lot of Black folk and just went off what she heard or saw on TV. I was the same way (don’t get confused). She would always say: ‘I’d never date a Black guy. Me and a Black guy? Ha. I can’t stand Black girls; they always pick fights with me for no reason.’

That’s all I heard and I said look: ‘I’m pretty sure you ran into some girls that are not African-American who picked fights with you as well. So why do you hate African-Americans? There’s a bunch of a-holes in this world no matter the color.’

She would understand my logic, but in her teenage defiance, would refuse to accept it. I knew she was being pig-headed, but I knew that she was young and would eventually grow out of all this.

Throughout the years, I heard less and less of her complaints about African-Americans. About a few months ago, I began to notice her watching NBA games a lot (sounds funny I know). Everyone from Lebron James, Michael Beasley, Josh Smith and Dwayne Wade became this ‘fine looking’ man to her.

So I went up to her after years of keeping quiet on the race/color issue and said: ‘Am I right in saying that you like Black guys now?’ She says: ‘I wouldn’t say their my strict preference, but I have changed from when I was younger. Its not just strictly Latino men anymore; Black guys are cool.’ I asked her why the sudden change. She said: ‘I don’t know. I just think those guys are attractive.’

Now, I could care less if she dated a Black man or a White man, but once I heard those words, I knew a barrier had fallen. I did the Jordan fist pump after a game-winner.

The next question was extremely important: ‘So you don’t care about the reaction your interest in Black men and you possibly introducing one to the family will illicit?’

I asked this question because being a White/Latino guy is usually cool with Dominican parents. They do not have a problem with you marrying their daughters. But a black guy? I mean… take me for example. Some Dominicans will refuse to call me “black,” they call me “Dominican” as if it were a race.

I have family members who have told me: “Claudito Black? Ha. He’s Dominican – he’s not Black.” I guess that’s the whole pride thing. I’ve gone to plenty of Dominican women’s houses where on first glance their parents were not thrilled. Then, I opened my mouth (espanol) and it was all good. At the same time, there were times when me being Dominican didn’t matter. They didn’t want me to potentially “muddy up” the gene pool. Whatever.

I’m telling you though, I’ve seen instances where mother’s and fathers have practically disowned kids because of their choices for partners. That’s why you don’t see that many Black/Dominican partnerships. PR/Black…much more likely because they’ve been side by side for so long. The new immigrants to this country’s parents aren’t having that.

Dominicans in D.R. are used to seeing the stereotypical images of Blacks on TV in the Dominican Republic and United States and their not good. In addition, dark-skin folks in DR are poorer than the lighter skin folk and then throw in the whole Haiti-DR issue. I mean…you can’t “understand” why their not fond of blacks, but you can also “understand.” Feel me?

She responded to the question: ‘Yes I am. One family friend gets ridiculed all the time and is scared to even talk or bring a Black man around. I want my family to like who I bring home; not talk behind my back.’ I said to her: ‘The only people whose opinion should ever matter to you are Mom and Dad. And even if they were like ‘some’ family members, you have to follow you’re heart. Mom and Dad could care less who you date; black, purple, white, red, green as long as they are educated and hopefully have the right intentions for you.’

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about her and he said: ‘Do you think its rooted in rebellion?’ I said: ‘I don’t think so. I feel if those individual family members were around her every other day, it may be a rebellious move. But I don’t think she’d even do that if she saw these family members everyday. She’s grown up. I think going to school, having a Black president, meeting new people, and having two dark-skin men who are the central figures in her life have something to do with it.’

In final, if it was up to me, I’d rather her stay single for the rest of her life. I love the girl and don’t really want to see her with any guy because I don’t think anyone is really worthy of her. But that probably won’t happen as she is a beautiful young lady; so all I can and will say is that I’m proud of the changes she’s made, and I hope that she will not let anyone affect her decision making when its rooted in something as silly as racism.

Just follow your heart…

P.S. To all the “brothers” who read this blog, don’t even think about it. Just don’t…

If you’d like to subscribe to this blog, click here