Live Above Mediocrity

A New Chapter…

admin — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 13:54:19 +0000

If you took a look at my Twitter profile a week ago it read: “I work from home in my pajamas.”

That was my life for the last seven months.

Going from my room, to the living room, to the kitchen. Turning on ESPN, watching HBO and listening to music as long as I wanted while I did my work; and eating Ramen Noodle soups because if I was already saving on expensive downtown lunches and monthly metrocards, I wasn’t going to go ahead and spend unnecessary amounts of money on Dyckman lunches either.

Gentrification made things a lot pricier out here.

I had no office and no physical bosses (just virtual employers) around me. Nothing. My office was my bed, my kitchen and an office chair. I had a laptop table of sorts to prevent the heat from destroying any chances of future children for me.

This was my life. I liked it and I disliked it at the same time.

For those seven months I worked with two clients, one on the east and the other on the west. My days would start as early as 5am and end at 8pm on some days.

If you weren’t around for my last real post on this blog, I quit my job in November for two reasons:

1. I didn’t have the urge to be there anymore. I was no longer in line with their mission.

2. I felt I could help websites in the black news space grow and I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to try my hand at SEO/Analytics which is something I did in the last year of my job at my old company. I wanted to see if I can build a business out of it.

Looking back on my decision, I don’t regret it one bit.

In the last half a year, I was able to sit down, study and learn so much about editing, writing, analytics and SEO that I probably never would have learned if I didn’t have that “freedom.”

In the same way I left my old company up in traffic by about 200 percent (with the help of others), I left these companies up in traffic at a rate of 100 percent.

I saw one site grow from 500,000 to 1 million unique visitors in my time there. I also saw a site come close to doubling its growth and continue its climb up the traffic ladder. I would have wanted to continue my work for self journey, but I found a non entrepreneurial position I felt was better for me.

I’m now back in the working world. By that, I mean corporate structure, daily train rides and suits.

While it’s no ones business where I am now, just know that I made my decision based on three simple factors.

1. After a few months of consulting, I realized that what I do is such a specialized skill that entrusting someone else would be difficult. Aside from that, if I continued to accrue clients I would not be able to perform to the level my clients would need me to perform. When you are SEO’ing for 2-3 sites a day, it can get extremely taxing and mistakes have and were bound to happen.

2. A man named Andreas who I would consider a friend and a budding mentor (referred by my friend Gabe) mentioned how a lot of companies were moving more towards social media optimization and not search engine optimization. He said if I could find a company that would give me the reins and also pay well, go for it.

3. I found a company that needed me. They need to grow quickly and felt I was the right man for the job. Better yet, I proved to them that there was no one better equipped for the position through my preparation. I also looked at the company and how small it is and realized it is a great growth opportunity for me.

In the end, I have moved around from job to job in the last 3-4 years, but I’ve also climbed in salary substantially at each job and landed a higher position at each.

Now I’m somewhere where I feel I will be for a long time and am just a few steps on the staircase away from being an executive.

My friend told me that I gave it a shot and wasn’t going to turn down an opportunity to continually say “I’m grinding and I’m going to make it” like a lot of others foolishly do.

But I sure did grind even if it was for a short period of time.

And that grind paid off with this new opportunity.

To new beginnings…

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A New Chapter… is a post from: Live Above Mediocrity

Holding Hands With Your Woman…

admin — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 13:27:32 +0000

A few months ago, I was talking to one of my friends Ricardo about black and Latino men and their (sometimes) aversion to holding hands in the street with their women.

He told me that he felt it was all a root of black and Latino masculinity issues and how we feel holding hands makes us look weak.

Guilty.

Every girl I’ve been with (dating or a girlfriend) has always had the same complaint about me.

“Why don’t you want to hold my hand?” “When you hold it it feels like you aren’t really into it.” “Just let my hand go if it’s like that.”

My response would always be either: “I don’t do that” or “I’m holding your hand so don’t start complaining about the way I hold it.”

Rude, right?

But I soon realized after that conversation with my friend that it was never about a personal preference but about perception. How I felt I would be perceived by others.

“Oh you in love, dog?” “Look at him holding his girl’s hand acting all in love. He’s whipped.”

I remember I told my ex-girlfriend that I thought holding hands made me feel like I was claimed. I got the ice grill for that. I think I even told my current girlfriend that. Same reaction.

The silly part of it all is that I am claimed by her, so as much as it may be a symbol of love or togetherness, it’s part “this right here – he/she is mine.”

In the last few months I’ve changed though. I not only learned from my friend but from other close friends too that showing affection whether kissing in public or holding hands isn’t something to be ashamed of. It doesn’t make you look weak. If anyone feels that you are because of that then they are themselves.

Love is a beautiful thing and the last thing you should be worried about are what other people think. You actually shouldn’t be worried about anyone at all. In a normal world, everyone would look at you holding hands or showing affection as a beautiful thing.

Looking back, I don’t know what made me a non hand holder. I don’t know if it was rap music (blame it on rap, right?) or just a plain old aversion to it (maybe a little bit of that). But it definitely wasn’t my dad because he holds my mom’s hand whenever they go out. They’ve been together for 34 years. And I’m trying to be a little more like him. A little more old-school and traditional.

But hey, I’m changing day by day. I may not hold it consistently but I’m getting up to that level. And there’s surely a lot of things a woman can request of you that are no-no’s, but this doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

In the end, It’s the little things that count and I was really making a big deal out of nothing. If a dude thinks I’m soft for holding my girl’s hand, it’s probably because he isn’t open enough with himself to not just hold hands with his woman (if he has one), but to be emotionally open as well…

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Holding Hands With Your Woman… is a post from: Live Above Mediocrity