with your girlfriend. One of my close friends is about to take the step. He decided to take advantage of a down market and buy a nice place in this up and coming neighborhood. Kudos to him for taking that step.

Now, while he was in his home search, he asked me four basic questions: ‘What is it like to move in with your girlfriend? Is it basically a signal that marriage is coming? Will I not be able to go out anymore? Will my aspiring dream to be this, that, or the other be over?’ Now I’m no relationship expert, but I have moved in with my girlfriend so I think I know more on this topic than those who tell him not to.

#1 My experience has been this – I’ve had to cook on certain nights; she has to cook on certain nights. She knows i’ll be home at night and vice versa. We don’t have to waste unnecessary money travelling to each other’s boroughs (Manhattan/Queens). What else? Well, *cough* we don’t have to sneak around or book a hotel for loving or wait for our parents not to be home. Another great part about it is that you have company. When you love someone, you will enjoy having them around to joke around and watch movies with and release about what went on at work.

Being alone in your crib and a bachelor has its advantages and all (trust), but it leaves you empty unless you some emotionless creature who doesn’t really need anyone around. I can’t speak for anyone else, but spending an evening at home by myself on the computer or watching TV with no one around isn’t all that uplifting.

#2 Well, if you’ve been with your girlfriend for a while and you take a step as big as moving in with her, you better be prepared to marry her in 3-4 years I would say tops. It really depends where you are in your relationship. But I will say, if you don’t fully love your girl, you are making a mistake. If that’s the case, you are just doing her a disservice by moving in with her because you’ll eventually hurt her feelings, leave her and that will be horrible for both parties.

#3 This is the funny one. In my case, I’ve had more freedom. Actually, I’ve had less phone calls too which is always a plus as girls just want to hear your voice sometimes and that’s annoying. By moving in together, they now know what you do, where you are, but most importantly, where you will be at the end of the night. When you don’t live with them, they can never really know and are sometimes on edge. You can be answering the phone and she thinks your in you’re house, but Juanita is keeping quiet next to you. But when you do move in, they are comfortable because they know you’ll be right by their side when you get home.

I’m no expert on women, but look at it this way; when they are not living with you and you go out with the fellas, their probably thinking: ‘What is he doing? Is he really going home? Now, I’m not saying I go out Friday, Saturday and Sunday with my boys all the time because that’s far from the truth. But, you will be able to go out as long as you divide the time at a 75-25 rate which I do (75 is your girl of course) or whatever you feel is right. But, don’t believe the hype – when you move in with your girl – its not all over – you actually get more freedom.

#4 The only way your dreams will go down the drain is if you let them. Don’t ever – I repeat – don’t ever blame your girl on you not being able to accomplish this or that because I don’t know any girl who would stand in your way if she loves you. If you’re slacking on your dreams, its your fault, not hers. The problem with most guys in relationships is that they don’t communicate and then get on the phone and complain to they boys that ‘My girl is this or that and she suffocating my hopes to be a lawyer.’ Complete and utter BS.

Its a fact that if it was up to them, most girls would want to spend every minute of the day with you. If you allow that to occur and it interferes with your dreams, you have no one to blame but yourself. Guys always want to pass the blame to their girlfriends to make it seem like they on top of their game when they really aren’t. Its as simple as this: ‘Babe, I have to do this career related stuff today or every day at this time. I won’t be able to watch TV or a movie with you from this time to that time ok.’ You noticed I ended it with a period, not a ? mark right. Too many guys treat their girlfriends like a parent -like they need to ask permission. No, your just communicating what you’ll be doing so she doesn’t expect you to watch Grey’s Anatomy with her. Comprende?

So to all you fellas out there hesitant about moving in with your significant other – make sure you communicate everything you have on your chest to them and you’ll be surprised how much more freedom you’ll have than your buddies who keep their lips shut.

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