I really want to cut my hair. I’ve wanted to cut it for awhile, but now the idea is really itching me.

I’m tired of perming my hair every three months; all these chemicals only to have damaged hair anyway!

I think my aunt gave me a perm when I was six in the Dominican Republic. I might have been 5 but nonetheless, I was too young to receive a perm in my hair.

My hair was really unmanageable – and my mom was always busy working and trying to take care of us – and my hair in itself was a job for her.

I went through a lot with this head of hair when I was younger.

I was the only girl in class who had three colitas (pigtails) in her hair. Picture day? My hair was not luxuriously blown out like the other little girls. I struggled a lot with my hair and still do so to this day.

I’ve permed my hair, colored my hair, tried different hair cuts, got bangs, put in extensions, mounded on pounds of gel; the list goes on.

But, I do take care of my hair a lot. I do my hair often; I do doobies before I go to bed and hardly use any products, but it still needs more work.

I have honestly run out of patience with it though.

I’m sick of perms!

My hair is mistreated and damaged; so what’s the point of taming my hair every three months with chemicals; for it to go back to its natural state in another three months and still be mistreated?

I have these moments where I want to grab a scissor and start cutting, but I’m so scared to do it. There are so many concerns that run through my head. A lot of people say that it’s just hair, but for me it isn’t.

Sadly, I equate hair with beauty.

And feeling less beautiful is what stops me from cutting it all off.

I want to let go of that mentality so I can cut my hair off. I really want to detach myself from my hair and from the thought that my hair is what makes me beautiful.

Someone I’ve known for a really long time wrote this.

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