Week 2 of the funny, sad, and ignorant s**t I hear in Dyckman weekly.

#1 Who? Two white women.

Where? On the train sitting next to me while we’re headed uptown.

Now this wouldn’t normally apply as I didn’t hear it “in Dyckman,” but I had to post this.

Two ladies: *tap me* Excuse me, but we are going to United Palace and wanted to know which is the safer stop to get off at 168th or 181st.

Me: *strange face* Either stop is fine to me. The closer stop would be 181st.

Two ladies: Isn’t the hospital on 168th street?

Me: Yes it is.

Two ladies: Well go with that stop just in case something happens to us. You know…more people around.

Analysis: No need to analyze. I wonder how people are going to come up here for the Tony’s next year. Helicopters, Armored trucks? Sheesh.

#2 Who? Dyckman poker players at our spot

Where? Undisclosed location

Player: You around here doing stuff right?

Me: Si senor…

Player: How you tell me that a few people living in my building don’t know where Audubon is? Some woman actually told me Amsterdam is only in Harlem and tried to argue with me.

Me: *laugh* That doesn’t surprise me.

Player: Why move up here if you don’t care to see what the “whole hood” is about?

Me: ’cause when you come from downtown Manhattan, 9x out of 10, you don’t want to know what the “hood is about.”

Player: Obviously not.

Analysis: SMH at people not knowing where these blocks are after living here for years.

#3 Who? Young kid on the phone.

Where? Wimpy’s on 207 and Nagle.

Kid: I sell drugs ’cause I have to. It’s the fastest way to get money out here. I tried to get a job but no one is hiring. My parents lost their jobs. I don’t go to school anymore because of that. I had nothing else I could do. I didn’t want to steal or rob. That’s not me. I’m not selling coke. I’m selling weed. I’m not hurting anyone so leave me alone…

Analysis: It’s rough out in these streets.

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